“When you wake up, you wake up the world.” – Corey Tevan (a muse in Rockport, MA)
This past weekend my friends and I went on our fifth annual trip to Salem/Gloucester/Rockport, MA. As per usual, it was an empowering, inspiring, and subtly life-altering experience.
In Rockport, there is a man with an art gallery we visit every year, and more than the soft, dreamlike works of art we go for the conversation. Corey Tevan, the artist, plucks unspoken thoughts from our heads and presents them to us in ways more perfect than we have thought before. The quote above is from this past weekend. It… well, it’s changed me, and changed how I’m seeing the world.
You’ve got to look beyond the obvious meaning to an artist to get how deeply it affected my world-view. I think you can do that. Do you see that part where it hints at dreams without mentioning them? Where it suggests that our awareness is so much more than “reality?”
Another thing also happens when we go to Massachusetts. I come back burning with the desire to write more of my Lotus Children books. It’s a series of books I began when I was younger, and reinvented over and over until I had a solid outline for the 6-to-7 book series. My pride and joy. My Books. Of which all drafts have been lost, save for a single paper draft of the first book in the series, thanks to a hard drive crash a few years ago.
The problem has always been that I loved these books too much, and I was too self-aware, realizing that I was not ready to write them yet, that I was about to become so much better as a writer that it would be a waste to write them when I was younger. But now, I’ve got several good novels under my belt (some lost, one published, one coming out in a few months), and my heart continues to turn back to My Books. I know I’m ready now.
But there are two more books in the series I’m currently working on that have to be written. And in the meantime, I’ve got a full time job that is wrecking my life with long hours, we just bought a house, and the time to write just seems to be so little lately that it’s utterly demoralizing.
But I want to write my stories. More than anything.
So I decided this morning, I’m not playing by the rules anymore. I can’t get into the details here, but my job has some vague policies that have been ruining my life, preventing me from doing simple things like buy groceries and do laundry and get enough sleep, and I’m not going to let it happen any more. I want to write. I want to have clean clothes. I want to write more. I want to pack so we can move. And more importantly, I want to write. So I decided, I’m not working more than my usual schedule. I’m not salary, so they aren’t hurt by it.
And I can’t help but feel like stumbling upon this post is just the universe’s way of saying yes to all my powerful, wild desires to tell these stories now. But how?
There was another thing Corey said over the weekend, something that came up in my Tarot card reading as well (it’s an annual tradition also): that our greatest challenges in life often hold within them the potential to become our greatest gifts. I know what my challenges have been since I was young: discipline, and time management.
I have a plan. A few months from now, I have a plan for going back to part time, so I have more time to write and market and be an indy author. But before that, my plan for right now, is to conquer those challenges before I have even more time to write. Because if I can do that, just imagine how much more productive I will be when the time is actually there…
There is always time, always scraps somewhere that can add up to quite a lot. Morning seems busy, but what if I got to bed a little bit earlier, woke up a little bit earlier, and made sure I wrote 500 words before I went to work even (since it is my topmost priority)? What if I brought my laptop to work so that I could write immediately after, before the 25 minute drive home that leaves me sleepy and officially DONE for the day?
There are solutions, especially while the days are still long. And now, more than ever, I feel that I’m able to find them, and face these long-standing personal challenges and turn them into my strengths.
And… I’m really kind of excited about that.